Monday, August 29, 2011

Life is beautiful


Isn’t Life Beautiful?

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The early-morning quiet is my time for reflection and prayer. The silence provides a suitable tabernacle for my soul. In the stillness, I consider the day to come.
My thoughts drift from the necessary and to the spectacular. I consider my day’s schedule, the tasks to accomplish and the appointments to keep. After checking off the must-dos, my mind goes deeper. It goes to a place absent of urgency – it goes to a beautiful place.

Our lives can be anything we choose to make them. We can struggle with the complexity or we can delight in the simplicity. We can be overwhelmed by the ugliness or we can celebrate the beauty. I choose to look for the beauty.

As the day begins, I pause and remind myself that what I have today can be taken away tomorrow. This is my life complete with setbacks and disappointments, but it’s also full of love and beauty. Gripping my coffee mug with both hands, I close my eyes and say a prayer of thankfulness.
I open my eyes to see our guest rising in the eastern sky and before starting my day I ask myself, “Isn’t life beautiful?”
Finding beauty
I make the choice to see beauty and it blesses my life. This perspective gives me the power to appreciate every detail I care to acknowledge. This power is the perfect conduit to happiness. It’s the small things, as well as the large, that create my beautiful life.
Here’s a properly-sized window for you to look through. Perhaps if you do, you will become reacquainted with the beauty that is already a part of life:

I notice the sun breaking over the trees. It looks like a curtain rising on a new performance. Recognizing my stage is being unveiled for another day is a beautiful sight. The sound of my heart beating still strong and capable of enduring just about anything. The rhythmic vibration feels beautiful.
After showering and dressing for work, I walk back into the bedroom stop look in the mirrow wink and say goodmorning. For a brief moment I look into my eyes and smile yes I am beautiful.
Driving to the office is my chance to listen to any song I want. I select a song and then allow the words to go deep inside so I can take in their beautiful melody.
At work, my time is typically spent solving problems. Behind each problem is a person revealing their amazing beauty.

As my children grow older I’m finding more pleasure in being their mother. A telephone call from Mark telling me about a new business opportunity, receiving a text from David (grandson) with a question, talking baseball with Landon (grandson) or getting a hug from Autumn are the most beautiful things that happen to me during the day.

Returning home, I flip on the news and start preparing dinner. The warmth of my home fills my spirit with beautiful comfort. Some evenings I read my mail and try to find time to upride my sisters, but on all evenings I experience the beautiful healing the words bring me.

As the day draws to an end, I find myself in a beautiful place. Falling asleep the question swells inside me again, “Isn’t life beautiful?”
Before I drift to sleep, I hear my answer. It is clear, confident and full of promise. My answer is my choice. It is based on how I choose to see my life.

My answer is yes.

Life is beautiful
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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

IN THE KINGDOM OF GODDESS HOOD THERE IS NO COMPETITION











In The Kingdom of Goddess Hood There is no CompetITIN

Monday, August 22, 2011

Female Hysteria



Female Hysteria and Creepy Old-Timey Vibrators

LADIES...Are you exhibiting any of the following symptoms:--Trouble sleeping?--Fluid retention?--Irritability?--"A tendency to cause trouble"?Yes, yes, yes and oh yes?Let's see, according to my medical book, circa 1895, you have a clear-cut case of Female Hysteria. (Men with similar symptoms will need to diagnose themselves with some other old-timey disease.


May I suggest "dairy fever" or perhaps "dropsy"?)In the 19th century, as many as 75% of middle-class women were estimated to suffer from hysteria, but luckily medical science was there to help them. Doctors treated hysteria with "pelvic massage" until the patient reached "hysterical paroxysm." In modern times, we know "pelvic massage" to be "the doctor jerking off his patient" and "hysterical paroxysm" to be "orgasm."

The procedure as a whole is now known as "grounds for a lawsuit."Doctors of the day were happy to provide such a treatment, as it provided a steady stream of paying customers (patients were advised to come in weekly for their treatments). It was all good, except for one thing, doctors found the actual manipulation of their patients genitals to be tedious and tiring. According to the highly entertaining Wikipedia entry on Female Hysteria: "The technique was difficult for a physician to master and could take hours to achieve 'hysterical paroxysm.'" (The physicians' widespread befuddlement at mastering these basic lady-pleasing skills puts Marrying a Doctor much lower on the To-Do list.)

The doctors were saved from the arduous task of trying to make these damn women come, already, by the magic device, the vibrator. The first of these "massage and vibratory apparatus" was patented by American physician (USA! USA!) George Taylor and was--and I can scarcely stand to type this--steam-powered. (The resulting billowing smoke making this perhaps the least discreet form of masturbatory tool.) Soon, physicians' offices were outfitted with electric vibrators, allowing doctors to get the job done in a matter of minutes instead of hours, and allowing most of mankind to stay blissfully ignorant about female orgasm until about the 1960s.


By the early 1900s, these miraculous health-giving electric vibrators started showing up in the American women's home. In fact, vibrators were one of the earliest electric home appliances invented, showing up ten years earlier than the vacuum cleaner or iron. Regular old, non-pervy companies like Hamilton Beach and Sears Roebuck were in the lucrative business of selling vibrators to housewives. There photos in the1918 Sears Roebuck and Co. catalog. "Very useful and satisfactory for home service," it says, vaguely, hoping you get the idea. Vibes were openly marketed in catalogs and women's magazines. The ads weren't directly saying, "Put this on your wang" but they did refer to its "wonderfully refreshing" effect. Read one ad: "Can be used by yourself in the privacy of dressing room or boudoir, and furnish every woman with the essence of perpetual youth." The home vibe was a thrifty purchase, too. With doctors charging $2 to jack you off, the $5.95 portable home vibrator would pay for itself after only three uses.


According to this one dude, Mike, who collects antique vibrators, there were also air-powered and hand-cranked device. I don't understand the physics of the device, but Mike explains that there is "a plunging motion of the center disk." I know it's supposed to be an erotic device, but I see this and think of the twisting motions of a hand mixer, the voluminous bushes of 1800s-era ladies, and well, I can venture a guess as to why we don't all have Macuara's Pulsocon Hand Vibrators stashed in our nightstand drawers.If you, like Mike and--apparently, me--are fascinated by these old devices, by all means make haste and check out the online Antique Vibrator Museum they put up at Good Vibrations. There is an educational video, plus photos of all sorts of creepy-ass, early electrical vibes. Like, look at this 1902 Hamilton Beach model, the "Type A":

The Hamilton Beach, Type A, 1902I mean, Good Lord! The giant motor! The thick cloth covering the cord! And is that an oil can in there? The Type A looks loud--roaringly loud, jackhammer loud. But most importantly, electricity back then was scary. I wouldn't even be brave enough to use a toaster from those days, much less put some shorting-out, spark-shooting, scary new-fangled doodad on my nether regions. I don't care how "wonderfully refreshing" it's supposed to be.As all this new information (scary old vibes! hand cranks! hysterical paroxysm!) rattles around in my mind, I find that I keep going back to the 19th century doctor's office and this strangely sexless sex between doctor and patient. Were either of them aroused by what was going on? Did the females see the doctor breaking out his Hamilton Beach 4000 or whatever and feel a thrill of anticipation, or just the kind of dull disinterest one would experience while watching a mechanic change the car's oil. And I wonder about the women's orgasm. If they were not told it was pleasurable, did they experience it as pleasure, or as just a release, akin to finally getting to pee on a long car trip?
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Conscious Community

Conscious Community


5 Types Of People.


1. True believes in me = Show me Art of appreciation, and is cheering me on.


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5.


2. Way Shower = Similar journey but further down.


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3. Messenger = Shows how it is done and helps equip for journey


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4. Confident = She/he has my back, a close trusted friend.


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5. Na Sayers = keep at a distance. When they say you cannot do that, You say yes I can.


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May a list of those you know and list in what category they go. Some can be in one or more categories.


6. Everyone Else

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What to do when you feel cranky

What to do when you feel cranky



6 Things to do when you feel cranky


1. Acts of Animist good.

2. Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus.

3. Look in mirror and say with a wink I deserve this.

4. Do the Visiting Dignitary.

5. Make list of gratitude.

6. Brag, brag, brag.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I AM A PRINCESS ON THE WAY TO MY THRONE


I am a princess on the way to my throne.

I am a magnet for all kinds of deep wonderment

I am a wunderkind, oh oh

I am a pioneer, naive enough to believe that

I am a princess on the way to my throne

The above lyrics from the
Alanis Morissette song Wunderkind have been a constant in my head since she sangs the song so beautifully For some reason both the melody and the lyrics of this song have become a kind of anthem of sorts for me the last month or so. In fact even my son has decided it is one of his favorites.

I was thinking today about what it is I love so much about these lyrics and why they speak to me so loudly and so deeply. What I have figured out (I think) is this; these lyrics represent a piece of what I feel my mission is in this life. On the road to reconnecting with my own Essential Self, I have not only found a greater sense of inner peace and a greater sense of self worth than I have ever experienced before but I have also discovered a greater sense of my true feminine essence, beauty and power. I truly believe that as a woman, I AM a magnet for all kinds of deep wonderment and I AM a princess on the way to my throne!!

This feeling and belief has ended up serving me greatly in all my roles: Mother, Sister, Girlfriend, Daughter, Friend, even my role as daily Starbucks patron has been positively affected! The point being is that it has affected how I show up in the world and therefore what I get back in return! What a gift.

So many of the women I have encountered and continue to encounter in my life through work or friends or fellow moms or however we connect are absolutely INCREDIBLE women! I feel like when I meet these women that they are instant kindred spirits and I have the ability to see through their outer shells of stress and pain or “pretend” happiness and into their core. What I see inside there often is a wee little spark. It is a spark of spirit, it is a spark of light, it is a spark of desire, it is a spark of joy and it is a spark that is absolutely DYING to turn into a fire.

My belief is that it is my mission and purpose to be part of the inspiration for these women to truly come into themselves in a way that allows for a life of incredible gratitude and joy. To help them to see what I see. The incredible power, the unbelievable beauty, and the amazing strength. First to see all that within and then to CELEBRATE it. Pretty damn cool.
To being a magnet and a princess because you absolutely know deep down that you are!
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MY MANIFESTO OF TRUTHS



My Manifesto of Truths

I am…
flawed in all ways I am meant to be.


ready to embrace the lessons my spirit chose to learn.


meant to follow my heart and soul to my truest desires.


no longer willing to wait for my happiness to begin.


able to believe I am absolutely enough in each moment.


at times, almost paralyzed by the love I have for the people and experiences in my life.


finally wise enough to know that my body & bank account do not define me.


perfect, even when I fail miserably and publicly.


a brilliant gorgeous & incredibly sexy work in progress.


wildly in love with my spirit and my essence even when I feel blue.


willing to be not right, not perfect and not graceful if that is what it takes.


at peace with not always knowing the outcome of living and loving fully and truly.


open to continue healing, learning and growing even when it includes mighty doses of discomfort.


finally able to say “I’m not ok” and ” I need help”.


beginning to understand there is a finish line.


already the winner.
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Saturday, August 6, 2011

Day 5 Create Your Character Board



#30BBM Day 5 – Create Your Character Board
Welcome to Day 5 of Be a Better Me in 30 Days Challenge!
Day 4 – Day of Virtue: Kindness Review


Yesterday’s task was on kindness – embodying the virtue of kindness, and being that beacon of light and love to everyone you see.


How was your experience on Day 4? Many of you have posted amazing acts of kindness and shared beautiful experiences of how you touched others’ lives in your special way yesterday. If you haven’t, be sure to post your results.


Know that no matter how small or big the act is, no matter how your kindness was received, your intention has planted a seed in the person’s heart. This seed will soon bloom into something beautiful, which only time can unveil.


Are you pushing yourself to the next level?
While it’s great that many of you are already doing acts of kindness by default, the whole point of 30BBM is to push your boundaries to the next level.


Which means, rather than saying: “Oh, I already did some kind acts yesterday/today, hence my work for Day 4 is complete”, challenge yourself with: ”In addition to the kind acts I already did/are doing, what more kind acts can I perform to others? How can I be an even kinder person? How can I push my kindness to the next level?”
In the former, you remain the same person as you are; in the latter, you grow and become better. Only by constantly challenging your limits will you become the better you, the ideal you that you seek.


Day 5: Character Board
Today’s task will take about 30 min – 1.5 hours, depending on how much time you wish to spend on it.
Today’s task is about character boards.


What is a character board? It’s a totally new concept I created for 30BBM, referring to a collage of words and/or pictures that represent our ideal self.


If you’re thinking this sounds like the vision board, you’re absolutely right! They are similar in concept – While the vision board relates to our goals and dreams, the character board relates to our highest self (in character traits). Both serve distinct purposes.


The objective of the character board is to embody the essence of who we want to be in 1 spot (be it a corkboard, A4 paper, desktop wallpaper, digital image, etc), such that we are constantly reminded of our highest vision of ourselves. This helps to spur us onto action every day. This is part of using the environment to reinforce our goals.


Not only that, it’s incredibly inspiring to have a character board! We can talk about wanting to cultivate positive traits like patience, compassion, kindness, etc, but having them presented in words and images before us makes it so much easier to visualize. It makes your goal to be a better you more real than it already is, and lets you know that this is who you’re going to be as you continue on this path.
The character board, while seemingly simple in concept, is a powerful tool in helping you become your ideal self. (Just as the vision board is a powerful tool for achieving our goals and dreams.) For today’s task, we’re going to create our character boards!


Your Task: Create Your Character Board!
In the next 30 min to an hour, you’re going to have your very own character board! Are you excited? I sure am!
Identify your 5 core ideal traits.
Refer to what you wrote for Day 3: Discover Your Ideal Self. Pick out 5 most important traits you want to attain as your ideal self. These are the 5 traits you’re going to focus on in your board!
You can have other traitstoo, just that you’ll be placing the biggest attention on the 5 core traits.
Select the format you want for your character board.
Your board can come in any form, really. You can hand write/decorate on A4 paper (easiest), create a digital image (using Photoshop /
GIMP / Powerpoint / Word), use cut-outs from magazines and form a collage on cardboard, get a corkboard specially for this purpose, etc.
Use whatever format that works best for you. As I mentioned above, my past character board(s) was just a simple slide in MS Powerpoint – no images and no jazz. It did what it needed to do for me. Remember this is about creating a board that works for you, and not about doing busy work.


Search for images that reflect your ideal traits.
Search for 2-3 images per trait, for your 5 core traits (Google Images or Flickr works great!). If you have more than 5 traits you want to highlight, feel free to search images for them too.
If you don’t want images, you can just make it a text-based board. It’s perfectly fine!
Print out the images if you’re making a hard copy board.
Create your board!


Write “Ideal ” in the middle of the board. Example, “Ideal Sarah June”.
Then, write your 5 core traits around that.
Supplement each trait with its corresponding set of images.
Now, create your board! Do whatever you deem fit here – let your creative juices flow!
That said, I have some broad suggestions which you can follow if you want:
Share your board when you are done!
You can upload your image(s) here: Photo Bucket Flickr, after which they’ll provide a working link where others can download/view the image.

Tomorrow, Day 6, will be a break day. This way, those who’ve not finished the previous tasks or signed up later can catch up. It’s also a day where those who are up to speed can focus on the discussions and get to know each other better. Stay tuned!
Day 5 Reflection for 30BBM
Is there anything you learned today?
If so, what is it? Write it down.
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Friday, August 5, 2011

BBE DAY 4 DAY OF KINDNESS

Day 4: Day of Kindness


“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” – Plato“Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated.” – Lou Holtz“A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child– The Knights of Pythagoras

On a scale of 1-10, how kind do you think you are?

Reason being kindness is such an integral part of being human, and living a better life. Without kindness, the world will be a dark, gloomy place.

Imagine people stuck in their worlds, refusing to lend helping hands to others. Imagine people who have no care in whether you’re sick, injured, or dead. Imagine people who will not lift a finger to help you, even when you’re in need. Imagine everyone who only fend for him/herself, never for others around them.

How will you feel in such a world?
Will you like it? Why or why not?
Will you want to be in a world like this?

For me, I see kindness as an essential part of life. If we live in a world where kindness does not exist, then I rather not be part of this world. For everything will be empty and void of life. Everything will be mechanical and dead. Rather than color and life, we’ll be living in a world of grey.

For today’s task, let us bring light into the world of others. Today is all about being kind to others.

Your Task: Be Kind Today
Imagine you’re standing before a room that’s bursting with warm, golden light. The light is so bright that you can see it bursting through every opening, every nook and cranny from inside the room to the world. It’s literally overpowering everything in your surroundings.
As you walk up to the door, you see the word “Kindness” written on it. This is when you realize this is a room filled with pure, sheer, unadulterated kind energy.

Your task today:
Step into the room.
Imagine yourself being basked, from head to toe, in the pure, kind energy. The light is so powerful that it penetrates into your body and reaches into the core of your heart.
As it does that, it somehow unlocks something inside you, deep in your soul. Suddenly, a strong beam of light starts to shine from inside your heart, first illuminating your whole body, and bursting into the world out there.
This occurs for a good 5-10 seconds, before the light fades away. You’re now radiating a positive glow; an luminescent aura that. There’s no doubt about it – you’re now a different person from before you stepped inside. You’re now filled with kindness, inside and out. Every fiber of your being, every cell in your body, is now filled with pure, kind energy.
Today, you are a beacon of kindness. Exemplify kindness in everything you do, every thought you have, every action you take. This means…
Being kind to everyone you see.
Going out of your usual zone to help others.
Smiling at strangers, even they aren’t smiling at you first.
Saying hi / Greeting everyone you see.
Doing something special for someone / others, without reason.
Loving others as if they were you.
Share the kind acts you intend to do today.
This is intended as a personal pledge so you’ll commit yourself to action.
Report back at the end of the day (via replying to your comment thread) with your experience, findings, and revelations if any. Photobucket

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

KNOWING YOUR IDEAL SELF DAY 3 BBE

Day 2 Review: Understand Your Negative Traits


Yesterday we looked at our negative traits. We gained an understanding on why we have those traits. We gained clarity on why we want to change these aspects of ourselves. And we identified baby steps on how we can get started on that right away.


I want to thank all of you for being so earnest, so open, so unadulterated in your sharing. Be it weak communication skills, tardiness, poor time management, lack of self-confidence, procrastination, indecisiveness, a short-temper, laziness, being judgmental, harshness, rudeness, being too serious, fear of making mistakes, selfishness, being critical, lack of focus, being disorganized, clinginess, arrogance, negativity, being anti-social, over sensitivity, it takes awareness and courage to put this out there and admit (to yourself, above all else) that these are areas you need to work on.


Enough with denying, running away, avoiding “ugly” traits about ourselves, because that only perpetuates the problem. Today marks the point where we live a life of honesty, of truth, of integrity. Today marks the point where we start living true to our highest self, where we become who we’re meant to be.
Now that we’ve laid our undesired traits on the table, today we’re going to create our ideal self.


Day 3: Knowing Your Ideal Self

Today’s task will take about 30-45 min.


Have you ever envisioned how your ideal self is like? How is he/she like?
Is he/she someone who is joyous, carefree, always smiling and happy?
Is he/she full of love, always spreading joy and love to everyone around him/her?
Is he/she passionate about life, driven and fueled by a hunger and thirst for betterment?
Is he/she tough, determined, persistent, never to back down in the face of challenges?
Is he/she full of strength and courage, and not afraid to go after all of his goals and dreams?
Is he/she assertive, confident, and not afraid to stand up for what he/she believes in?
Is he/she graceful, beautiful, and full of light?


Is he/she eloquent, sociable, and able to express him/herself freely, without restrain?
Back when I first worked on becoming a better me, I created an image of my ideal self.
I asked myself the following: What is my ideal self like? What do I see as the highest version of me? What does it mean to me, to be someone who is a 10/10?


From there, I imagined someone who is very positive, full of love and GRACE. I imagined her to be beautiful, both on the inside and out. I imagined her to be patient, nurturing, and warm. I imagine her to be feminine, demure, gentle and kind. I imagined her to be emotionally generous, always giving, and never asking anything back in return. I imagined her to be extremely kind and compassionate. I imagined her as a beacon of love, light and joy in the world – emanating love and light no matter where she is and where she goes.


When I pictured this ideal self, I couldn’t help but smile. I felt an inner state of peace and calmness. I knew this was the person I wanted to become. I knew that becoming such a person would give me more joy than anything else. And from there, I set forth to become such a person.
Your ideal self is someone whom you see as the highest you. What is your ideal self like? What do you see as the highest version of you? What does it mean to be someone who is 10/10? This is what we’re going to do now.


Your Task: Identify Your Ideal Self


Take out a new piece of paper and answer the following questions:
What is your ideal self like? Describe him/her as much as possible. Below are some helping points:


What traits does he/she possess?


What are his/her values in life?


How does your ideal self conduct him/herself around others?


How would you assess this ideal self on a scale of 1-10?


It should be a 10/10 – else it’d not be your ideal self!
If it’s not 10, redo Q1 until you get a 10/10 score.


What are 3 baby steps you can start right away to live in line with your ideal self?
Take action on them right away!


Schedule them in your calendar if they are time-based.


Day 3 Reflection for 30BBM
Is there anything you learned today?
This can be about yourself, other people, or other things in life.
This can be related/unrelated to the task, inspired by answers by other participants, inspired by the discussions in the community, due to something that happened in your life today that’s outside of 30BBM.
If so, what is it? Write it down.
Share Your Answers!
What is your ideal self like? What traits does he/she possess? What can you start doing today to become your ideal self?
Share your answers with the others in the comments area! Check out others’ comments and share your thoughts!
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Monday, August 1, 2011

Dau 2 UNDERSTAND YOUR NEGATIVE TRAITS



2: Understand Your Negative Traits


Todays answers will take 3/4 to 1 hour to complete


Yesterday, we assessed ourselves earnestly. We rated ourselves on a scale of 1-10, on how we saw ourselves against our ideal, highest vision of ourselves. We explored ourselves thoroughly, looking deep inside and sieving through the traits deep inside us in the process.
Last but not least, we identified 5-7 traits which we want to work on, moving ahead.


All of us wrote down different traits. Abrasiveness. Desire for approval. Being quick to judge others. Laziness. Selfishness. Poor
time management. Procrastination. Low confidence. Being critical. Being negative. Emotional stinginess. Self-hate. Being fearful. Being high strung. Shyness. Anti-social. Aloofness. Skepticism. Cynicism. Arrogance. Insecurity. Lack of self-discipline. Indecisiveness. Being disorganized. Weak communication skills. Judgmental. Presumptuous. Greedy. Self-centeredness. Impatience. Lack of focus.

While we may not be proud of these traits, it’s important to acknowledge them first and foremost, which is the point of the last step of yesterday’s exercise. Because awareness is the first step towards growth. As long as we refuse to acknowledge a certain trait, say arrogance, we can never improve in that area, even if we may be the most arrogant person in the world.
So what do we do with these negative traits, after identifying them?


The first thing I want you to know is that you shouldn’t reject them. Meaning – Say you hate that you are lazy, self-conceited, and disorganized. Rather than hate these traits about yourself, and beat yourself up over them, accept that you have these traits. Accept that you are lazy. Accept that you’re self-conceited. And accept that you’re disorganized. Accept that these make up who you are currently, and these are not things you’re proud of.


The reason why I say that is because resistance will only cause internal conflict, which prevents you from truly improving. The age old saying of “What you resist will persist” is very true in this case. The more you deny that you are X trait, say, lazy, the lazier you’ll become. The more you deny that you’re self-conceited, the more self-conceited you’ll become. And the more you deny that you’re disorganized, the more disorganized you’ll be. That’s because denying doesn’t solve the problem – it only makes you think the problem is not there, which further aggravates it.


What should we do about our negative traits? The first step is to understand them. Understand why we think we possess this X trait. Understand why this trait bothers us so, so that we have a clear reason for change. Then from there, have an immediate plan to change things around.
Which is what we’re doing for today’s task. Today, we’ll look into our undesired traits, such that we can begin the first step to becoming the better us.


Your Task: Understand Your Negative Traits


Take out a new piece of paper.
From the list of 5-7 traits you wrote on Day 1: Assess Yourself, pick out 3 key traits you want to work on this month.


Write down the 3 traits on your paper.


For example, if you have biggest issues with being presumptive, being fearful of taking action, and being fearful of criticism, your 3 traits will probably look like this: (1) Presumptuousness (2) Fear of taking action (3) Fear of criticism.
Feel free to pick more than 3 if you want! 3 is the minimum.
Rank them in order of 1-3, with #1 being the top trait you want to work on.


Starting with the first trait, answer the following:
Why do you think you are ?
Taking an example for Presumptuousness:
Why am I ? Because I think I know better than others. I often assume things about other people (and events), which later turn out to be untrue. I judge people based on certain actions they do, even though these actions may not be indicative of their full character/personality.


Why do you want to change this trait?
Continuing from example on Presumptuousness:
Why do I want to change this trait? Because it causes issues, such as having conflicts with people, creating unhappiness in others, assuming things only to realize they are wrong later on, and so on. These are things I want to avoid, because they are unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. They create problems which can be avoided if I’m not presumptuous in the first place.
What is one baby step you can do today to change this?
Continuing from example on Presumptuousness:
What is 1 baby step I can do today to change this? I will ask more questions rather than assume things – i.e. going by the motif of “When in doubt, ask”. I’ll give others the benefit of the doubt even if things go wrong. I’ll start to think positively, rather than negatively, of everyone I see today.
Repeat step #3 for the other 2 traits.
Schedule the action steps (your answers to step #3.3) in your August calendar.
Do this if the steps cannot be actioned on today.
This ensures what you plan gets translated into reality and commits you to action.
Again, feel free to write as much as you want! The more, the better.
Day 2 Reflection for 30BBM
Is there anything you learned today?


This can be about yourself, other people, or other things in life.
This can be related/unrelated to the task, inspired by answers by other participants, inspired by the discussions in the community, due to something that happened in your life today that’s outside of 30BBM.
If so, what is it? Write it down.
Share Your Answers!
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Assess Yourself BBM Day 1



#30BBM Day 1 – Assess Yourself

This is Day 1 of “Be a Better Me in 30 Days” (30BBM) August 2011 Challenge.!

This month of August is going to be a month of change and conscious action. For the next 30 days, we are going to be working on a series of tasks to build our character and work towards our ideal persona. I want you to bear in mind that August is the month to Be a Better YOU. This means that regardless of what you do, people you meet, situation you’re in, I want you to challenge yourself on how you can make something better (even if you’re handling everything very well). Then, apply that insight right away. Because being a better us happens every moment, every second – not just limited to doing a specific task on a specific day from a specific course (30BBM).



I want you to commit yourself fully to 30BBM. Chunk away redundant, less important tasks you have in August right now and dedicate yourself to the daily tasks in 30BBM. Don’t even give yourself any excuse or reason to skip any day’s task. Know that no matter what happens, all of us are here to support each other, so share everything openly in your daily post.


30BBM is meant to be a “Live”, community-driven challenge, so don’t just read the tasks quietly every day and disengage from the community. You’ll experience little like this. Rather, share your results. Read what others have to say (We have a huge group of participants and you definitely don’t need to read all the comments – just a small handful is fine). Reply to the ones that resonate with you. Post a helpful note to 1-2 fellow participants if you can. If everyone of us does this, we’ll take away so much more from this experience. The more we share, the more we’ll be able to learn.


Imagine all of us inside one, large, beautiful, magnificent room right now, basked in glorious, golden light – all eager to be a better us, all yearning to push our growth to the next level. The passion each of you have for your growth is overwhelming me, truly. I’m incredibly touched by your never-wavering commitment towards betterment, and I’m very honored to be here with you on your growth journey.


If you haven’t yet, set aside an hour every day (in August) for the daily tasks. I recommend to set it first thing in the morning, such that you can read the task at the start of the day, and you have the rest of the day to do the task.



That said, this is exactly what I relish in (publishing personal boundaries and what is “defined” by others as possible), and this is what I invite all of you to do in 30BBM as well. Because it’s precisely when one is made to do what he/she is normally accustomed to do where real growth occurs.



Day 1 – Assess Your Personality



Today’s task will take about 30-45 min.


“Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared; but only men of character are trusted.”Alfred Adler


As you know, 30BBM is to be a better us. It’s created so we can develop our character, to weed out our bad character traits, to build new, desired traits, to cultivate universal values, to re-discover ourselves – so that we become the highest person we can be proud of.


When I was in university, I didn’t like myself very much. While I was very good in what I did and put my 110% in everything I was a part of, be it in my studies, in my fashion design work , my extra-curricular activities, my project work, and was overall a very well-rounded, high performing, and highly accomplished individual (compared to the peer group), there would be often times when I wasn’t happy with how I was, on the inside.



For example, I hated how I was always so critical of others. It was great in that this part of me pushed boundaries and created the best results each time, but I often ended up having a strong distaste for people I worked with on projects (usually people who were not as committed, did things at the last minute, etc), even though I really just wanted to make pure, unadulterated connections with everyone, regardless of who they were or how they were like.
I hated how I had such a hard personality – that as much as I wanted to be a kind, pure, warm individual, that I would come across as rude, brash, masculine, critical, pinpointed, against my better wishes, because I deemed these as repulsive traits.
I hated how I was selfish – always thinking about myself and my needs in life, rather than for others.



I hated how there would be times when I would be negative and complain about every single thing, rather than get a grip of myself and get a handle of the situation.
I hated how I was such an emotionally stingy person, always looking for positive affirmations and emotional displays from others, rather than doing that myself.
I remember at that time thinking – If there were things about my personality that I didn’t like, why not work on it directly as a
goal? For if there was one thing I was good at, it would be setting goals, identifying action steps, and achieving them.


And that I did. I started assessing my character. I identified the things I liked about myself, and the things I didn’t like about myself. Thereby, I thought about the ideal traits I wanted to possess – the ideal persona I wanted to achieve. I then created a plan plan to integrate these traits, one after another, and set off to make them a part of me. Every day, I would make a commitment to live through to my ideal traits.



For this week, we’re going to be working on the series of steps above – one at a time. For today’s task, you’ll be assessing yourself.


Your Task: Assess Yourself


The first task of 30BBM is to assess your personality.
Take out a pen and a piece of paper, and answer the following questions:
If you were to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (in terms of your personality), how much would you rate yourself? Would you give yourself a 1? Would you give yourself a 10? A 3? A 5? A 7?
Be as honest as possible. You know yourself the best. While people can only know you by how you behave and what you choose to say, you know all the thoughts that goes through your head the whole time. Are you the person others think you are? Or are you someone else? No body knows the real you better than you.


Many people think that giving yourself a score of 1-2/10 means you dislike yourself. That’s complete bullshit and it can’t be further away from the truth. Your score merely indicates how far you see yourself from your potential, ideal self (which is a 10). The bigger the gap, the higher you see your potential for growth.
So if you put yourself as 1/10, that means you see huge potential to be better – which makes it easy to be a better you. On the other hand, those who rate themselves as 9/10 or 10/10 often don’t grow much – because they already think they’re good enough. Which is fine by itself, but I believe most of us who joined the challenge do so because we recognize growth is transcendent, and there can never be an end point to how good we can be.


Why did you give yourself the score in Q1?
State down specific reasons why – At least 3-5 points to explain your score.
Elaborate as much as you can. The more you write, the better.
Now, write down 5-7 traits about yourself you want to work on.
These can be traits you don’t like about yourself, or traits you are okay with but you want to eradicate because they serve no value to you.
Remember, elaborate as much as you want. The more you write, the better.
Question 3 is actually a lead-in for Day 2′s task. Tomorrow, we will be delving into the character traits we want to work on (ergo looking deeper into your Q3 answers) – so stay tuned.


Day 1 Reflection for 30BBM


For each 30BBM task, we’ll have a quick reflection session. This is to identify and collect our learnings and reflections, rather than just do the task for the sake of doing it.
Is there anything you learned today? (Be it about yourself, or about other things.)


If so, what is it? Write it down.
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