Thursday, February 10, 2011

Love Yourself Without Becoming Full of Yourself

I am beating the same old drum a little different

Do I know how to truly love myself?

Or am I so engrossed in myself to the point of being vain and arrogant?

There is this phrase – proud as a peacock, which is used to refer to someone who is excessively proud and full of themselves. Are you/am I a peacock.

Just how much one should love themselves.

The answer is there is no limit.

We should love ourself so much that you could eat ourself!

For years I did not understand this concept of self-love. I was brought up to believe that it’s not good or “nice” to put myself before others.

Louise Hay talks about this in her book You Can Heal Yourself, where as a child at parties, she would always let others get the cake first. And of course she would end up with none.

Self love is about putting yourself first – we can consider the needs of others too, but not at our detriment.

And we all do this – I am a classic case.

In the past, I have so often given my energy and time to others and there has been a huge imbalance. So no more.

So putting myself first is one aspect about self-love. But what if people go the other way? At what point does self-love become selfish and arrso full of themselves that you could hardly be in their presence for too long.
I have a sister who believes that the whole world revolves around her– and that she is better and more beautiful, and above everyone else.

However, here’s the thing – such people are actually the ones who are really short on self-love. And that’s why they need to have external social indicators and all that peacocking to prove their worth to themselves and others.

“An empty man is full of himself.” – Edward Abby
There is this anecdotal story of the time when Gandhi met the King of Great Britain in London and he wore his simple wrap around cloth.
A journalist asked Gandhi, “Mr Gandhi, did you feel under-dressed when you met the King?”
Gandhi replied, “The King was wearing enough clothes for both of us!”

So I ask myself – am I so full of myself that I have covered myself with all this external clothing and peacock feathers?

Also, remember that self love is not about being

True self love means being totally comfortable in our skin and not ever wanting external vindication of our being and worth.

True self love means being kind and loving towards ourself no matter what.
It’s all about coming to the realisation that there is nothing wrong with me, and that we are perfect just the way we are.

Loving ourself is all about doing the right things for your mind, body and soul. Here are some simple ideas to get you started:-

Go for walks in the park. Even better if you can do in the early morning
Eat healthy food only – remember we are what you eat. So eat organic food as much as you can. Cut out junk food completely
Drink alcohol in moderation – or none at all
Pamper ourself daily and often – gentle massage, bath, whatever you fancy
I look for friends who energise me . We are who we associate with.
I work at de-cluttering life. This is a big one for me.
I am very mindful of myself – I watch my self talk.
I Get plenty of rest. Listen to my body and accordingly sleep more or sleep less
I Cut down on late nights, I limit myself to 2 late nights a week
I am on alert fo activities that really make me come alive
I connect with my inner child – I am learning to chill out more and be childlike.
If you have additional ideas share with me.. I am Learning how to really pamper myself and to make myself feel good.
I Boost my self-esteem as much as I can – applying daily the
9 powerful ways to boost your self esteem I wrote about earlier this week.
An easy way of finding things I truly enjoy is to check in with myself. Pause and ask myself it it feels good or not.


  1. Hello I loved your post! You speak of a very important thing is that us love unconditionally, I think only when we know how, know the true meaning of loving others. Although it is mirrored on the inevitable that we would be seeing in them something that they do not see themselves. We forget that the starting point is the acceptance of ourselves!
    I do not care what I look like a peacock or arrogant because I appreciate ..
    Recently I often struggled with the question "why my friends and I admire someone who is so close I said aloud that want me off and set defines me as someone who is ashamed? " Perhaps the answer is that we create expectations of others and refusing to accept what they really are.
    She loves you and know yourself love someone... live and let live!
    good weekend xoxo

  2. I believe I am a prime example of a person who does more than others than for themself. Though I love helping others and seeing themhappy afterwards, i would love to do something for myself. I want to do something to make myself happy and I would also love to love myself. I really liked your post.

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  4. Very well written..........what I especially appreciate is that you provided practical tips for those of us struggling to maintain balance between self-love and arrogance.

  5. WoW! really a great post. .love this one.=)
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